Customer Service Complaint

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart & funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

 

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

 

The agent replied, "I am sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

 

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

 

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone, "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.

 

"We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.

 

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "F*** you!"

 

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."

 

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A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

 

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

 

Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I asked to see your ticket, not your stub."

 

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Cardiologist Funeral

 

A well known cardiologist died, and an elaborate funeral was planned.

 

A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

 

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter! When confronted, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral.....

 

I'm a gynecologist."